AN EXCELLENT READ!!!

DEFENDING TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE
It Starts with You
Willard F. Harley, Jr.
Revell
Family & Relationships/Marriage
ISBN: 0800731093

Willard F. Harley, Jr., author of the bestselling title HIS NEEDS, HER NEEDS, has compiled substantial and troubling evidence that clearly delineates how society contributes to the breakdown of the primary family unit, marriage. Harley, a clinical psychologist who has frequently been called to testify before judiciary committees on behalf of traditional marriage and family legislation, views such changes in law as key components as to how viable marriages will be in the coming years. According to the author, traditional marriage is defined as "...a permanent (as long as you both shall live) and sexually exclusive (forsaking all others) relationship of extraordinary care (love, comfort, honor, and keep, etc.) between a man (to be your husband) and a woman (to be your wife)." However, the latest wave of court decisions is eroding the very foundation of this fundamental societal relationship.

Harley says that the last 75 years have seen the denigration of marriage sneak its way into the mindset of the masses by undermining the very oath of commitment itself. He also believes that men and women must rethink the whole institution of marriage by daily, and concertedly, living out the four essential ingredients vital to a marriage that not only stands the test of time, but thrives and continues to be characterized by romantic love.

Having interviewed and counseled thousands of married couples during the course of his career, Harley believes there are four must-haves in every marriage:

*Extraordinary Care: the decision to care for one's spouse during the good and the bad times, despite waning emotions or adverse circumstances.

*Sexual Exclusivity: forsaking all others and guarding this area of the relationship so that infidelity doesn't cause a freefall to destruction and demise in the marriage.

*Permanence: creating an environment of safety and continuity for the benefit and protection of all family members.

*One Man and One Woman: the ideal environment for raising happy and successful children.

Once this defining foundation is set and clearly understood, the author spends the remainder of his text showing couples how to love one another in very practical ways. By understanding the inherent strength of intimate emotional needs, Harley empowers married men and women with the tools necessary to protect their marriage from outside attacks (affairs) or inside sabotage (apathy or contempt). Since emotional needs are so potent and so necessary for a growing marriage, Harley pooled the most cited (and desired) needs for men and women. The top needs included: admiration, affection, conversation, domestic support, family commitment, financial support, honesty and openness, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship, and sexual fulfillment. Men in general noted that sexual fulfillment and recreational companionship topped their list. Women needed affection and intimate conversation most. Harley wisely notes that men and women must meet the key needs of their spouse and not assume that their mate's wants mirror their own. When couples begin acting in ways that fulfill their spouse's most intimate emotional needs, safeguards are immediately erected and the marriage begins to take on new romantic life (thereby helping to ensure a lasting, viable marriage).

Harley provides numerous scenarios where men and women have neglected their partner to the eventual demise of the marriage. Yet the overall tone of this book is one of optimism and hope. The author believes that successful, happy marriages can overcome the statistical slide to divorce. Best of all, he provides readers with the resources and tools to make it happen. Every married couple would benefit from this excellent and substantial primer on making marriages all that God intended.


--- Reviewed by Michele Howe

23,000 teachers lost their jobs this week. Maybe the teacher's union shouldn't have given that $1 million to oppose Prop 8 a year and half ago. Maybe they should have used that money for finding a way to help those teachers keep their jobs instead of making a political statement.

Women’s dignity: the forgotten agenda

Can we judge the status of a woman by her pay check? Have women arrived when they have half the seats in the legislature and their husbands do half the chores at home? This is Part I of a symposium by Mercatornet.com on improving the status of women by 2020. Dr. Jennifer Roback Morse's take on the situation: Motherhood within marriage is a worthy choice I have a radical idea for promoting the dignity of women: the idea that giving birth to children inside marriage is good and worthy use of one’s time and talent. This idea has come under assault from many directions. We hear that intelligent women should use their minds, by giving priority to career. Taking care of children is for losers with nothing better to do. We hear that independent women should not rely on men financially. It is better to have a child alone, or to be childless, than to be financially interdependent with the child’s father. We hear there is no urgency to having children. If you haven’t found a husband, if you haven’t made the time to become a mother naturally, you can always use artificial insemination with donor sperm, to become a mother at the time of your own choosing. If we accept these ideas, we lose essential features of being a female human: an appreciation of woman’s natural life-giving powers, of woman’s desire for lasting relationships, and of woman’s intrinsic delight in bringing forth new life. Male and female are two different ways of being human. Without women being women, men too, are diminished. The uniquely feminine becomes obscured to us all, much to the loss of woman’s intrinsic dignity.

Political Powerlessness in Action

Dear Friends,

You may recall from one of my earlier e-mails that the plaintiffs’ lawyers, in their bid to overturn Prop 8, asserted during the Perry v Schwarzenegger federal trial that homosexuals are “politically powerless.” They tried to make the case that this alleged political disadvantage is so extreme that it must be corrected by providing homosexuals special protection under the United States Constitution.

When our team of able legal experts questioned the plaintiffs’ witnesses on this matter, they were forced to acknowledge that the “gay agenda” has a bevy of esteemed and active elected officials in their stable of support, including both California U.S. Senators, the Speaker of the House of Representatives, the Governor, the current, openly homosexual California Assembly Speaker, several openly homosexual state senators and/or assembly members, the current mayors of California’s largest cities and the state’s Attorney General.

By that measure alone, it is difficult to accept the notion that homosexuals are a politically powerless lot. Let’s not be naïve, the homosexual lobby holds powerful sway over what goes on in the halls of our state Capitol.

Further, last Friday was the final day lawmakers could introduce legislation in the current session. And guess what? California’s largest homosexual advocacy group, Equality California, sponsored three bills to further advance their agenda, one of which would eliminate what they consider a barrier to legalizing same-sex marriage.

Senate Bill 906 was introduced by openly-gay Senator Mark Leno, who has carried the gay lobby’s water since he was elected. It removes from current law any obligation by clergy to “marry” same-sex partners and prevents their refusal from having any negative implications on a synagogue or church’s tax-exempt status.

While “divorcing” religious marriage from civil marriage, this bill further exemplifies just how cunning the homosexual lobby can be. In fact, much can be read into Senator Leno’s comment in the Bay Area Reporter when he said religious entities “have no business interfering with the fundamental right of everyone's access to marriage."

Equality California may promote this bill as nothing more than a way to clarify the issue for people who are “confused about the difference between civil marriage and religious marriage,” but what they are really after is a way – any way – to invalidate the votes of 7 million Californians who voted to keep marriage between a man and a woman.

Parsing words the way they are with SB 906 is just another clear example of how powerful the homosexual lobby is in exerting its political influence on the rest of society.

On another note, Friday was a big day for our legal team in the Perry v Schwarzenegger case. After weeks of work following the conclusion of the evidentiary portion of the trial, our team submitted our post-trial briefings to Judge Vaughn Walker.

We appreciate all of your prayers and financial support throughout these trial proceedings. This is just the first step in a long legal battle to preserve traditional marriage. We are now waiting for Judge Vaughn Walker to announce the date for closing arguments and we will have much work to do for that step in the journey as well. We ask for your continued support through both prayer and financial sacrifice during this time as we move closer toward the completion of the district court trial and then on to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals.

We will keep you informed as we learn more from Judge Walker.

God Bless you,

Ron Prentice, Executive Director